I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We need to rekindle our bromance
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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