just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
