Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
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Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
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I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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