I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
