i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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