Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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