Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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