Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think your dad took our porno
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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