Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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