I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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