Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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