i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
