before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
