This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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