you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
