brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes