you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We have started to decorate penises.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"