lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.