Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower