We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
