she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize