If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.