Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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