Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

My first STD was from a foam party

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.

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(214): View more from Texas

I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(619): View more from California

Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

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(817): View more from Texas

maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude

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(703): View more from Virginia

To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked

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