got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
how drunk are you?
Several
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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