try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
