your parents love me but you hate me
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Randomize
