No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
