4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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