We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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