i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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