I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
