you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
