When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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