he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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