You're completely useless in the revolution.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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