Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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