New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
