i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
