Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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