found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
