I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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