i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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