we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
