maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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