Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She even gives head with a lisp.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
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The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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