Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
