Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
