He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
