So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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