Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
