I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Small penises have feelings too.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well I just put wine in my tea
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
