I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
