He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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