You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
