What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
