I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
