Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize