i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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