you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
