So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
