Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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