Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
