i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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