Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
